Dear Alyssa,
How I got you to the moment I became your mommy...
When I was 23 years old I became a mom...the most amazing part of my life was just beginning! There was so much positive and maybe some negative on the horizon and I was so excited to embark on this wonderful journey. The moment that I first held you my beautiful little girl in my arms was amazing, I was tired, but felt so alive, was happy and sad, and felt very blessed. I could not have loved a person more, aside from the wonderful man that you would call "Daddy". To be given such a wonderful gift, how could I have been so lucky. Happy, Healthy and full of life this amazing little being was mine to help explore this world, to teach her right from wrong, to teach her how amazing the world could be despite the bad that lingered in it. What an awe inspiring moment to realize that you were to be someone's kumu (teacher).
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Now years later I treasure those moments, the memories that I have spending time with such an amazing human being. You came into the world not knowing anything and I helped to mold you into a strong, happy, sweet, wonderful person.
When you were diagnosed with cancer I started writing in a journal everyday about the things that you experienced, what kind of twists and turns that her journey took...but I never really wrote about my feelings or emotions that came from your experiences and when you passed away I stopped writing, stopped telling the story of where we were, how we got here, what a day feels like to not hold our little girl in our arms, or watching you grow up. For you I want to continue to tell your story, to explain what it is like living without your child, being a mother to an angel. And hopefully helping others to understand watching a child faced with cancer is amazing...the strength that exudes from them radiates to all those that surround them.
I promise that I will live up to what you wanted from me a book, about you...telling your story, explaining the things that happened behind closed doors, the things that most do not have to experience and maybe answering some questions that others are afraid to ask.
How I got you to the moment I became your mommy...
When I was 23 years old I became a mom...the most amazing part of my life was just beginning! There was so much positive and maybe some negative on the horizon and I was so excited to embark on this wonderful journey. The moment that I first held you my beautiful little girl in my arms was amazing, I was tired, but felt so alive, was happy and sad, and felt very blessed. I could not have loved a person more, aside from the wonderful man that you would call "Daddy". To be given such a wonderful gift, how could I have been so lucky. Happy, Healthy and full of life this amazing little being was mine to help explore this world, to teach her right from wrong, to teach her how amazing the world could be despite the bad that lingered in it. What an awe inspiring moment to realize that you were to be someone's kumu (teacher).
.jpg)
Now years later I treasure those moments, the memories that I have spending time with such an amazing human being. You came into the world not knowing anything and I helped to mold you into a strong, happy, sweet, wonderful person.
When you were diagnosed with cancer I started writing in a journal everyday about the things that you experienced, what kind of twists and turns that her journey took...but I never really wrote about my feelings or emotions that came from your experiences and when you passed away I stopped writing, stopped telling the story of where we were, how we got here, what a day feels like to not hold our little girl in our arms, or watching you grow up. For you I want to continue to tell your story, to explain what it is like living without your child, being a mother to an angel. And hopefully helping others to understand watching a child faced with cancer is amazing...the strength that exudes from them radiates to all those that surround them.
I promise that I will live up to what you wanted from me a book, about you...telling your story, explaining the things that happened behind closed doors, the things that most do not have to experience and maybe answering some questions that others are afraid to ask.
Live like heaven begins tomorrow,
Sing like no one is listening,
Love like you've never been hurt before,
Dance like no one is watching.
~ Author Unknown
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