Lost...

Have you ever felt lost...like you are the only one in a journey even though you are surrounded by people? Have you ever felt like there was no happiness there was no way out? I have had many days like this over the years. I know that I am never alone that I am always a phone call away from friends or family that want to help. But do they really understand? Do they understand the pain of waking up every morning knowing that your smiling face will not be there to greet the day.  Do they understand when I have that distant look in my eyes and they ask "are you okay?" when my answer is "I'm fine"  I am not really fine.

When I reach that time when all I really want or need is a hug...maybe that will make me feel better! Even if only for a minute!!!

Or had that moment when you are jealous of the mother and her child walking through the store together...looking at all the stuff in the store and having fun!!! 

There is nothing like being lost...it is like a rainbow without color, or a flower without a beautiful fragrance, or love without anyone to share it with, or a mother with out a child...

So until I can see you again I am going to hug you in my dreams!

And Celebrate the things I do have!!!!

I love you more than all the stars in the heavens seen and unseen times infinity!!! And miss you so much!!! I hope that I find what I have lost and remember the things that will carry me on until we see each other again!!!  I will see you soon my angel!!!

Love always,

Mommy