36 years

To My little angel:

Well 36 years for me has come and gone.  I celebrated my birthday by hanging out with your daddy watching football on the couch instead of baking a cake with you.  My memory drifts back to 6 years ago when you and I were waiting for the kitchen to be completed so that we could bake cakes together and maybe some chocolate chip cookies.  Hanging out with you and your daddy has always been my bliss, my happiness, my happy place.  Doing something with you was always more than enough to keep me going.  As yet another year is coming to a close and we approach yet another anniversary my thoughts turn to the days we had after you came home.  The days that you and I spent together making more memories.  I am so thankful for those moments and for the memories that we made.  I am thankful for every bucket of icing that you had to lick the last little bit out of because "Mommy it is chocolate, you can't waste chocolate".  I miss teaching you to cook and explore the different tastes of food.  I miss doing arts and crafts with you and watching you learn how to paint or draw or figure out how weird it felt to have the paint between your fingers and toes.

Thank you for the memories, thank you for the moments, thank you for being my baby!!!  Thank you for teaching me how awesome it is to be a MOMMY!!!  You are my reason!!!

Ok so I know you have been watching over us.  I know that you saw mommy and daddy get dressed up and go to the party on Saturday and I know that you were watching as we were able to see so many friends that we haven't seen in years.  Hard to believe it has been 6 years that we haven't seen some of them.  It is amazing after all this time that the friends and family that we had surrounding us when you left this earth are here supporting us so close to your sixth anniversary.  Amazing friends and the support is never failing and always there when we need it, so fortunate to have been surrounded by love 6 years ago and again in the week leading up to your angel birthday.  Sometimes I wonder how time could move so very fast and other days I wonder why it is crawling.  I am in no hurry to leave this earth, I believe that my time here is making a difference and I believe that I am doing what you left for me to do.

I love you more than all the stars in the sky seen and unseen times infinity.

Love always,
Mommy!!!!

I leave you with the harsh reality 36 children will be diagnosed with cancer today, 13,500 will be diagnosed this year, 7 will no be able to survive their treatments and 7 families will have to say good bye to a child way too young and way too soon!  Donate to Alyssa's Team at the Honolulu CureSearch Walk on September 15, 2012!  Help us to reach our goal!  Mahalo nui loa!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ITrd7fM6aY a beautiful song about a little boy who lost his battle with cancer his name is Ronan.  Watch it and try not to cry or be moved to help!!!